Posts tagged marvel comics

So, this is my realistic take on how this fight would go…

—Let’s Begin—

So let’s say these two have never met. And they’re in a junkyard because whatever. And before yall tell me this is an easy fight in which Wolverine would come out victorious, lemme give you some facts about Slade. First off, he has a healing factor similar to Wolverine’s, only it is a lot weaker. He can’t regenerate limbs or other body parts (hence why he’s still missing an eye). Secondly, he can use 90% of his brain, making him a genius in and out of combat. Thirdly, he has enhanced strength, speed, stamina, dick size, and agility.

To make you guys aware of how crazy this dude is, it once took a combined effort from Batman, Nightwing, and Tim Drake to take him down. So shut the fuck up about Wolverine owning him because you don’t know shitcockdickpenis.

—Let’s Begin…for reals—

So Deathstroke would definitely use his ranged weaponry to his advantage. Wolverine has mastered the use of guns as well, but rarely carries any with him. He prefers to use his signature adamantium laced claws.  

So after a few successful shots from his rifle, Deathstroke would become aware of Wolverine’s regeneration factor. 

Wolverine doesn’t usually need to dodge bullets very often. Similar to Deadpool, Wolverine is more likely to run into bullets than away from them because fuck it.  

Every shot hurts and slows Wolverine down. They also make him angrier. Wolverine’s feral nature works to his advantage about 50% of the time. If he’s fighting another brute, it is beneficial. if he’s fighting a tactician, it’ll bite him in the arse.  Unfortunately, Wolverine is fighting head-to-head with the former. 

Despite his frustration, Wolverine would have enough sense in him to find cover behind a dumpster. He’d know by now that Deathstroke is no ordinary marksman.

Instead of risking having Wolverine completely heal from his wounds, Deathstroke would drop his weapons and charge with his sword in hand. After all, he’s just as effective in hand-to-hand combat as he is with a gun.

Wolverine would hear Slade’s footsteps coming closer. There would be no sense in sneaking around since Wolverine has heightened senses, but Deathstroke would try anyways. 

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN WOLVERINE WOULD LEAP OVER THE DUMPSTER AND—

BANG BANG BANG

Deathstroke would quick draw his pistol and hit Wolverine 3 times. All 3 shots would be in the chest because he’s fucking nice with it. Wolverine wouldn’t flinch though and would land on Deathstroke with his 6 claws deep in Slade’s shoulders. He’d pull out (heh) and slice Slade two more times before a badly injured Deathstroke would manage to kick him off.

At this point, Wolverine would be completely healed from the rifle shots and begin to heal from the pistol shots. Oh, and he’d be really fucking angry. Deathstroke would be in serious pain and his regeneration would kick start. If you don’t know much about Deathstroke, he reaches insanity when he recovers from fatal wounds. Like literal insanity. Deathstroke would draw his sword again. They would both be in feral states slicing each other up.

They’d eventually drop in a big bloody fucking mess. After about a half hour, Wolverine would get up, crack his neck and back, and glance down at his opponent. He’d walk away, wearing Slade’s blood with pride.

“Nice sparrin’ with ya bub.”

The end.

-Dogpool

Writing about it right now. Probably post it in an hour or so.

-Dogpool

So, this is my realistic take on how this fight would go…

—Let’s Begin—

So let’s just say Batman had no prior encounters with Daredevil, since I’m convinced that a prepared Batman is an unstoppable Batman.

I like the idea of this fight because Daredevil’s blindness and fearlessness directly counter Batman’s usual approach: Stalking foes and instilling fear in them. Daredevil is blind, so Batman’s use of the darkness would be useless. Daredevil has fought in the darkness since he was struck blind.

Batman might start off by sneaking around, trying to find an opening. As soon as he would find it, he’d pounce, and Daredevil would counter with ease by connecting his foot with Batman’s face.

Batman would then calculate how hard he was hit and estimate his opponent’s strength. It wouldn’t take much time to realize that Daredevil does not have any super strength.

He’d then throw some batarangs which would be swiftly dodged by Daredevil. Batman would either assume that Daredevil is a highly trained fighter or that he has superhumanly enhanced senses. Nonetheless, Batman would find that he is the better of the two, having fought and beaten what seems like much more dangerous foes.

Daredevil would be on the defensive the entire time. It’s what he does best. He lets his opponents make enough noise to paint a clear picture in his mind. Once his opponent tires himself out (which he’d be able to find out by regulating their heart beats with his super senses) he would use all of his unused energy to pummel the shit out of whoever he’s fighting,

Batman would try to end the fight quickly by throwing 3 smoke bombs around Daredevil. The initial “Pop!” of each bomb would be enough for Daredevil to paint a clear picture of Batman. Batman would try to connect with three hard punches and miss all of them. Daredevil would counter with two slams to Batman’s head with his billy club and one kick to the stomach. Batman would absorb the kick by Daredevil and grab onto his leg, successfully pulling him closer and slamming one into his nose. Daredevil would try to recover just to be punched 3 more times by the Batman. With a quick back flip, Daredevil would evade Batman’s next two punches and create distance between the two.

It is at this point that Daredevil would go on the offensive, not so much because Batman’s heart has shown any signs of fatigue, but because he allowed himself to be hit and is angered because of it.

Daredevil would connect his billy clubs into a staff and take a huge upward swing at Batman. The Dark Knight would attempt to leap over it, but his scrotum would suffer a soft, slightly pleasing graze. He’d giggle and blush for a second; enough time for an angry Daredevil to tackle him to the ground.

While they’re on the ground, Batman would try to test the boundaries between him and Daredevil by softly twisting his left nipple. Daredevil would be a little confused at this point and would react by grabbing Batman’s ass cheek.

Within 2 minutes, both heroes would be wearing nothing but their masks and socks. They eventually would find that Batman has the more dominating personality and adjust accordingly…

The end.

-Dogpool

It’s epic and is a must-read.

-Dogpool

Gonna write about it at like 5

Who wins?

So, this is my realistic take on how this fight would go…

—Let’s Begin—

So the fight would start with Bruce Banner already in Hulk form. Let’s just say he’s tearing up Metropolis in one of his all-too-common tantrums.

Superman would immediately take notice and begin to combat the green beast. I’m almost 100% sure Superman would be able to outmatch Hulk at first. He might even think the fight is over after connecting Hulk’s face with a few powerful punches.

After getting his face pounded in a few times, Hulk’s increasing anger would manifest itself when his punches begin to actually damage the Caped Crusader. Superman might attempt to fly away, just to be grabbed and slammed deep into the ground. As Supes attempts to gather himself, the Hulk would probably jump hundreds of feet into the air and slam onto Superman’s already crippled body. The slam would be powerful enough to disconnect Superman from his own ass cheeks. He’d use his lasers to cleanly reattach one cheek but the other would have already been eaten by Hulk at this point.

Angered about having to live with one ass cheek for the remainder of his life, Superman would gather enough strength to punch a hole right through the Hulk’s mid-center, grab his own half-digested ass cheek, and successfully kill Bruce Banner in the process.

The End…

-Dogpool

Who wins?

I’ll post it at like 6.

Who do you think would win?