Posts tagged Loki

So, this is my realistic take on how this fight would go…

—Let’s Begin—

So let’s just say Batman had no prior encounters with Daredevil, since I’m convinced that a prepared Batman is an unstoppable Batman.

I like the idea of this fight because Daredevil’s blindness and fearlessness directly counter Batman’s usual approach: Stalking foes and instilling fear in them. Daredevil is blind, so Batman’s use of the darkness would be useless. Daredevil has fought in the darkness since he was struck blind.

Batman might start off by sneaking around, trying to find an opening. As soon as he would find it, he’d pounce, and Daredevil would counter with ease by connecting his foot with Batman’s face.

Batman would then calculate how hard he was hit and estimate his opponent’s strength. It wouldn’t take much time to realize that Daredevil does not have any super strength.

He’d then throw some batarangs which would be swiftly dodged by Daredevil. Batman would either assume that Daredevil is a highly trained fighter or that he has superhumanly enhanced senses. Nonetheless, Batman would find that he is the better of the two, having fought and beaten what seems like much more dangerous foes.

Daredevil would be on the defensive the entire time. It’s what he does best. He lets his opponents make enough noise to paint a clear picture in his mind. Once his opponent tires himself out (which he’d be able to find out by regulating their heart beats with his super senses) he would use all of his unused energy to pummel the shit out of whoever he’s fighting,

Batman would try to end the fight quickly by throwing 3 smoke bombs around Daredevil. The initial “Pop!” of each bomb would be enough for Daredevil to paint a clear picture of Batman. Batman would try to connect with three hard punches and miss all of them. Daredevil would counter with two slams to Batman’s head with his billy club and one kick to the stomach. Batman would absorb the kick by Daredevil and grab onto his leg, successfully pulling him closer and slamming one into his nose. Daredevil would try to recover just to be punched 3 more times by the Batman. With a quick back flip, Daredevil would evade Batman’s next two punches and create distance between the two.

It is at this point that Daredevil would go on the offensive, not so much because Batman’s heart has shown any signs of fatigue, but because he allowed himself to be hit and is angered because of it.

Daredevil would connect his billy clubs into a staff and take a huge upward swing at Batman. The Dark Knight would attempt to leap over it, but his scrotum would suffer a soft, slightly pleasing graze. He’d giggle and blush for a second; enough time for an angry Daredevil to tackle him to the ground.

While they’re on the ground, Batman would try to test the boundaries between him and Daredevil by softly twisting his left nipple. Daredevil would be a little confused at this point and would react by grabbing Batman’s ass cheek.

Within 2 minutes, both heroes would be wearing nothing but their masks and socks. They eventually would find that Batman has the more dominating personality and adjust accordingly…

The end.

-Dogpool

So, this is my realistic take on how this fight would go…

—Let’s Begin—

So the fight would start with Bruce Banner already in Hulk form. Let’s just say he’s tearing up Metropolis in one of his all-too-common tantrums.

Superman would immediately take notice and begin to combat the green beast. I’m almost 100% sure Superman would be able to outmatch Hulk at first. He might even think the fight is over after connecting Hulk’s face with a few powerful punches.

After getting his face pounded in a few times, Hulk’s increasing anger would manifest itself when his punches begin to actually damage the Caped Crusader. Superman might attempt to fly away, just to be grabbed and slammed deep into the ground. As Supes attempts to gather himself, the Hulk would probably jump hundreds of feet into the air and slam onto Superman’s already crippled body. The slam would be powerful enough to disconnect Superman from his own ass cheeks. He’d use his lasers to cleanly reattach one cheek but the other would have already been eaten by Hulk at this point.

Angered about having to live with one ass cheek for the remainder of his life, Superman would gather enough strength to punch a hole right through the Hulk’s mid-center, grab his own half-digested ass cheek, and successfully kill Bruce Banner in the process.

The End…

-Dogpool

dogpool:

If I was suddenly granted powers, I would not go outside and use them until I had the coolest name possible.

My Answer:

If I was feeling really lazy, I would probably just wear one of my superhero shirts and call myself something like Superboy…or Super Steve…

Or maybe I would just wear plain clothes like Luke Cage and call myself Steve…or Steven.

OR!!! I could be a cute superhero and wear something adorable similar to Squirrel Girl and call myself the Tasmanian Devil :O

F#ck it, that’s too dangerous. I’d wear a mask to protect the ones I love.  I’d need a mysterious name…Enigma?

Hmm, or maybe I’d embrace my hispanic side and call myself El Mariachi.

…

Nah I’d probably just wear whatever the f#ck I want and change my superhero name 3 times a day.

What would your name be?

-Dogpool

dogpool:

#1) Professor X/Magneto

Ah…the beautifully complex relationship between the mutants, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr. 

Professor X:  Founder of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters and the X-Men.  Charles, a powerful telepath, chose to live his life promoting mutant rights in a peaceful and civil manner. 

Magneto:  Founder of the Brotherhood of Mutants.  Erik, who has the power to manipulate magnetic fields, chose an aggressive and lethal stance against humanity.

Professor X and Magneto’s different stances on mutant/human relations spawn from their vastly different upbringings.  On one hand, Professor X was raised born into wealth and used his powers and natural intellect to become an excellent student, eventually getting Ph.D.s in Genetics, Biophysics, and Psychology.  On the other hand, Magneto suffered through the Holocaust, witnessing his family’s extermination.  It is during this early stage of his life that Erik’s hate for humans begins. 

Why is this rivalry so great? 

They’re best friends.  Their respect for each other is incredible.  Magneto can only appreciate the things that Xavier has done for the mutant community.  Erik’s only regret is that he is forced to do battle with his own kind for what he believes is the greater good. 

#2) Superman/Lex Luthor

Superman: Incredibly strong alien and self-proclaimed Earth’s protector.  Boy Scout.

Lex Luthor: Rich, evil genius. 

Similar to Charles and Erik, these two were best friends as well. 

I want to focus on the versions of Lex Luthor in which he is not merely looking for world domination.  Truly evil people are boring.  I love the Lex Luthor that sees Superman as a threat to humanity. 

Why is this rivalry so great?

Luthor believes that he can aid the entire human population with his wealth and influence.  He can create goals that humanity can strive to duplicate.  The only problem is that Superman destroys these goals and makes humans strive for the impossible.  In essence, Superman’s presence disrupts Earth’s natural order.  Lex’s major flaw is his ego.  His pursuit of Superman’s demise blinds him of all the great things he can still accomplish.

#3) Thor/Loki

Thor: God of Thunder.  One of the founding Avengers.

Loki: God of Mischief.  Major pain in Earth’s buttocks. 

This relationship hits home.  I have two brothers.  Having been the youngest of the boys, I feel as if I’ve lived in their shadows for the majority of my life. 

Why is this rivalry so great?

Thor and Loki’s relationship isn’t a matter of good and evil.  It is hardly about their different views on humanity.  It’s simply sibling rivalry.  Brothers can fight all they want…there will always a bit of love for each other tucked deep into their little hearts. 

#4) Batman/Joker

Batman:  Detective.  Protector of Gotham and the poster child for how not to cope with death.

Joker:  This guy is just looney tunes.

Let me just quote The Dark Knight (Don’t judge me, I read comics too!  I’m not one of those) 

“This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.” –Joker

Why is this rivalry so great?

Two incredibly disturbed human beings, Batman and the Joker, were meant for each other.  Batman cannot kill the Joker, no matter what the Joker does (such as kill those that Bruce loves the most).  The Joker, in his insanity, would hate it if one of his plans were actually successful in killing the Batman; he would then die of boredom. 

#5) Deadpool/Cable

Deadpool:  Mercenary with a neat healing factor.  Does not shut up and, on occasion, breaks the 4th wall.

Cable:  From the future in an alternate dimension.  Son of the mutants, Cyclops and Jean Grey.  Has telekinetic powers and is a powerful telepath.  Self-proclaimed “savior.”  Uhh…he’s infected with a techno-organic virus given to him by Apocalypse that he has to focus on in order to stop it from spreading throughout his body.  He uses weapons from the future and blahblahblah he’s awesome.  Oh! And he’s often powerless :/

One second they’re best friends, and everything is great.  The next, Deadpool is offered tons of money and attempts to assassinate Cable. 

Why is this rivalry so great?

First of all, Cable & Deadpool comics are great.  They have a perfect mixture of funnies and serious moments.  Second of all, they have such an adorable relationship.  Rarely does Deadpool have anyone who takes him seriously or can even endure his ramblings.  Cable befriends Deadpool so that he can keep an eye on him; he sends him on various pointless missions to keep him occupied.  Although their relationship is on-and-off, when they work together, they can be the stuff of legends. 

 

 -Dogpool

 

 

 

dogpool:

who didn’t wear a mask in high school.  Who learned to freely express the essence of who they really were. 

I’d like to give a shout-out to all the nerds that I made fun of with my “friends,” just to go home and play World of Warcraft and read comic books when no one was watching. 

I’m a coward.

I’d like to give a shout-out to the kids I’ve made cry, to the girl I made cut herself, and to the kid I jumped that one time…

I’m in college now.  I don’t talk to anyone from high school.  High school means NOTHING.  It doesn’t matter that I was on the football team.  It doesn’t matter that people thought I was funny.  None of it matters.

I was awful…I was a douchebag…but I’m getting better.

Oh, and I’m thankful for all of my followers:) 

Good day to all of you.  Be brave and embrace your individuality. 

-Dogpool

dogpool:

So I’ve been working stock at Tommy Hilfiger for about a month now and I’ve seen some weird shit, but nothing tops what I saw last week.

I was folding clothes in the back and trying to avoid the cameras every time I txted (I feel like Snake from Metal Gear sometimes) when I heard some commotion in the front of the store.

My curiosity drove me to jog up to the front where I saw a naked Dr. Bruce Banner.  At least he had a shopping bag covering his Hulk Jr. 

Everyone was yelling at him and shit; they clearly didn’t know who he was.  So I gave some people some “shut the fuck up”s and brought him to a changing room.  I got his jean size, and began writing a note that read:

Hey Bruce,

I’m not gonna bother telling you my name since you probably wont even remember it.  I just wanted to tell you that you’ve had a huge impact on my life.  I get so angry sometimes.  I “smash” stuff as well.  I want to try to learn how to control my anger like you usually do; God knows I would have destroyed half of New York if I had your problem.  

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks and that you make me feel not-so-crazy. 

-The guy from Tommy Hilfiger

It was a lazy note.  I only had a few moments to write it.  I wrote in huge letters for whatever reason, so I needed two pieces of paper.  Since I couldn’t find a stapler, I settled with a paper clip and clipped it to the inside of his pants.  Then I handed it over and waited.

Two seconds later I was propelled 20 feet away, luckily landing on some shirts.  I heard a HUGE roar.  It was the fucking Hulk.  I think I pooped a little. 

He ended up destroying half the store and then leaped away.  I went back to the fitting room to see what could have possibly gone wrong.  On the floor was a bloody paper clip and my note…maybe I should have clipped it to the outside of the pants.  I snatched that shit before the police came and walked out of the store (Through a hole made by Hulk).

I really wish he read my letter.

-Dogpool

So I’ve been working stock at Tommy Hilfiger for about a month now and I’ve seen some weird shit, but nothing tops what I saw last week.

I was folding clothes in the back and trying to avoid the cameras every time I txted (I feel like Snake from Metal Gear sometimes) when I heard some commotion in the front of the store.

My curiosity drove me to jog up to the front where I saw a naked Dr. Bruce Banner.  At least he had a shopping bag covering his Hulk Jr. 

Everyone was yelling at him and shit; they clearly didn’t know who he was.  So I gave some people some “shut the fuck up”s and brought him to a changing room.  I got his jean size, and began writing a note that read:

Hey Bruce,

I’m not gonna bother telling you my name since you probably wont even remember it.  I just wanted to tell you that you’ve had a huge impact on my life.  I get so angry sometimes.  I “smash” stuff as well.  I want to try to learn how to control my anger like you usually do; God knows I would have destroyed half of New York if I had your problem.  

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks and that you make me feel not-so-crazy. 

-The guy from Tommy Hilfiger

It was a lazy note.  I only had a few moments to write it.  I wrote in huge letters for whatever reason, so I needed two pieces of paper.  Since I couldn’t find a stapler, I settled with a paper clip and clipped it to the inside of his pants.  Then I handed it over and waited.

Two seconds later I was propelled 20 feet away, luckily landing on some shirts.  I heard a HUGE roar.  It was the fucking Hulk.  I think I pooped a little. 

He ended up destroying half the store and then leaped away.  I went back to the fitting room to see what could have possibly gone wrong.  On the floor was a bloody paper clip and my note…maybe I should have clipped it to the outside of the pants.  I snatched that shit before the police came and walked out of the store (Through a hole made by Hulk).

I really wish he read my letter.

-Dogpool

So today I had to go get my certificate of residency for college.  I had my step-dad drive me to go get it since I have no car. 

So he drove me to the Department of Finance and ripped the most horrible ass right before we left the car.  I didn’t mention it since I only had to deal with it for like 3 seconds before I got out.

Anyways, we go in and I get my shit done and leave after about 40 minutes.  Then we go back in the car and I’m smacked in the face with that same fart that was just trapped in there for nearly an hour.  It smelled about 10 times worst.

My step-dad and I lasted about 12 seconds before we began violently choking…he opened the windows, apologized, and then drove home silently.  Super awkward.

-Dogpool

So today, a kid told me about his girlfriend.  He told me she was going away for a bit and that he wasn’t sure what he was going to do.  Little did he know, he was talking to the perfect guy.  For those who don’t know me, I’m Steve and I’ve been involved in a long distance relationship for a while now.

Anyways, I asked him if he trusted her.  He said yes.  Then I asked him if he loved her.  He said he’s not sure.  I told him that was fine and that trust is key to an LDR and so is patience.  He then walked away and did w.e.

I kept thinking about our mini conversation. To me, having a crush, loving, etc. is all about the senses.  Touch, smell, taste, hearing, and sight. I asked myself to describe exactly what I wanted to tell the kid.  So here it is:

—Duh—

Imagine seeing your girlfriend for the first time. 

Imagine watching the way she moves. 

The movement of her hair. 

The quick and inescapable thoughts of what you’d want to do to her, or even with her. 

Imagine her smile and her laugh, how they make you smile and laugh for no other reason than the fact that you’re mesmerized by her.

Now imagine her scent.  One of the senses you need to be close enough to stimulate.  Her unique smell, one you learn to grow very fond of.

Think of her giggles.  That echo of success every time you feel witty.  Imagine her voice, whether she’s talking about her day or whispering in your ear.

Now imagine her taste, possibly the most intimate scent to explore with her.  The subtle taste of mints or gum in every kiss.  Her salty upper lip on a sunny day.

Picture running your fingers through her hair now.  Feeling her lips on yours.  Imagine pressing against her and letting your hands explore every curve of her body.

Now imagine stripping ALL of your senses away.  Imagine becoming completely numb.  You cannot feel her, smell her, taste her, hear her, or see her.  Imagine having nothing but trust.

Would you trust her?  Would you trust that no one else is touching her the way you do?  That no one else is tasting her the way you do?

And more importantly do you trust yourself that you won’t look at anyone the way you look at her?  That you won’t take advantage of the distance?

If you can trust both her and yourself, then go right ahead.  You’re ready.  That’s not to say it’ll be easy, but you are ready nonetheless.

It’s difficult to describe how it feels to see your loved one after several months.  Remember that numbness that comes with long distance? 

Well imagine finally seeing her. 

I believe the feeling is called ecstasy. 

All of your senses amplified by 100 splashing down on top of you.  It’s overwhelming really.  I haven’t gotten used to it yet. 

So be patient, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. 

-Dogpool

O.o

-Dogmeat