Posts tagged Comic Books
I'm just a dog with a blog
My friends from different realities.
-Dogpool
Superman vs. The Hulk
So, this is my realistic take on how this fight would go…
—Let’s Begin—
So the fight would start with Bruce Banner already in Hulk form. Let’s just say he’s tearing up Metropolis in one of his all-too-common tantrums.
Superman would immediately take notice and begin to combat the green beast. I’m almost 100% sure Superman would be able to outmatch Hulk at first. He might even think the fight is over after connecting Hulk’s face with a few powerful punches.
After getting his face pounded in a few times, Hulk’s increasing anger would manifest itself when his punches begin to actually damage the Caped Crusader. Superman might attempt to fly away, just to be grabbed and slammed deep into the ground. As Supes attempts to gather himself, the Hulk would probably jump hundreds of feet into the air and slam onto Superman’s already crippled body. The slam would be powerful enough to disconnect Superman from his own ass cheeks. He’d use his lasers to cleanly reattach one cheek but the other would have already been eaten by Hulk at this point.
Angered about having to live with one ass cheek for the remainder of his life, Superman would gather enough strength to punch a hole right through the Hulk’s mid-center, grab his own half-digested ass cheek, and successfully kill Bruce Banner in the process.
The End…
-Dogpool
Writing up a “Superman vs. Hulk” scenario for you guys…
I’ll post it at like 6.
Who do you think would win?
-Dogpool
Reading.
-Dogpool
X-Men.
-Dogpool
Los Niños de la Camara, “The Children of the Vault.”
-Dogpool
Okay, first of all, did you even watch the Amazing Spider-Man? Because if you weren’t too busy obsessing over the original trilogy, you might’ve noticed it was actually a pretty good movie. It was a great retake on Spider-Man, and was more loyal to the comics. Gwen/Peter was done masterfully. Sure, we might’ve not needed the origin story, but that just means that the second will be even better since it’ll be all new.
…it’s the single-most accurate depiction of Spider-Man we’ve ever gotten. How exactly does the OP think it’s supposed to have sucked?
And I’d also say we did in fact need that story told again. The last time around it was told in such a way that you could literally slice it out of the rest of the film and it’d be a separate story. This actually made everything feel connected. Plus it establishes that this is a different world and setting than the last set. One of the mistakes The Incredible Hulk made was NOT making this distinction and starting well into Banner’s life as the Hulk. A lot of people assumed it was meant to be a sequel. Hell, a lot of people thought this WAS Spider-Man 4 until the origin scenes were shown again.^^ This.
Tobey Maguire was the best Spider-Man. Fuck what you heard. Shitty ass Twilight-esque Spidey reboot with its lame ass antagonist with his retarded plan to make everyone into fucking lizards, Like wtf. The final fight scene in the first Spider-Man was a helluva lot more memorable and badass than Spidey’s pussy-ass fight against Dr. Connors. Such a disappointment. “Durr at least da romance was legit.” Sure. I read Spider-Man comics for the romance. The whole awkward first love bullshit makes me wanna vomit. Tobey clearly has the bigger meat in this situation.
I mean…just look at him.
Look into his eyes.
-Dogpool
Ah yes. “Shitty-ass Twilight-esque Spidey”. That meme is so old, especially since Tobey’s Spidey was literally a male Bella Swan. Sitting around, moping and crying because he couldn’t be with her, his powers LITERALLY STOP WORKING because he’s supposedly “love-sick”, but Andrew’s Spidey is the “Twilight-esque” Spidey because… he’s in high school? Seriously?
I mean sure, let’s ignore that Andrew’s depiction wasn’t an over-the-top caricature of a nerd that was so blatant it was on the level of parody. (The BUS DRIVER picked on him and other nerds dissed him ffs!) Let’s ignore how he was so stoic and serious, cracked maybe three really wooden jokes per movie and the rest of the comedy was done via pratfalls, awkward dancing and J. Jonah Jameson. The same J. Jonah played up massively for comic relief. Let’s ignore how they literally screwed up EVERY. SINGLE. VILLAIN. And let’s ignore how they get Connors mostly right, let’s ignore how Andrew’s Peter was an accurate depiction of an outcast, a loner. Let’s ignore how he’s actually cracking jokes and has Peter Parker’s sense of humor. Let’s ignore how it actually focused on his parents for once and didn’t rush through his development into a hero. Let’s ignore that. Because he’s got a girlfriend in high school and stutters when nervous like most people do, so that makes him “Twilight-esque” because of it. The horror.
Your logic is a frigging joke, man.
EDIT- Furthermore: The “badass fight scene” in the first Spider-Man? The one where Green Goblin (and I use that name very liberally) manages to beat the actual hell out of him because screw Spider Sense, agility or equal strength, he just can, only to manage to give Spidey a “power boost” by threatening Mary Jane and thus having Spidey mysteriously and miraculously become stronger via THE POWER OF LOVE! and whupp the hell out of old man Osborn? THAT fight scene? THAT is what’s badass, but a fight to stop the plans of a giant mutant lizard with razor-sharp claws and the ability to spontaneously regenerate, plans that legitimately threaten the city… that’s a “pussy-ass fight”. But the one where he gets his ass kicked until his booty call is threatened (which is used in ALL THREE MOVIES!) is badass.
Bearing in mind that the “awkward first love crap” made you want to vomit in TASM, but the creepy stalker watching her change through the window, and following her around town whispering to himself and pretending to talk to her, being “in love with her since the day she moved in next door” when they were 6, that’s not sappy or ridiculous.
Pfffft! Hahahaha….
Say it to his face.
-DP
(Source: super-hero-confessions)
Okay, first of all, did you even watch the Amazing Spider-Man? Because if you weren’t too busy obsessing over the original trilogy, you might’ve noticed it was actually a pretty good movie. It was a great retake on Spider-Man, and was more loyal to the comics. Gwen/Peter was done masterfully. Sure, we might’ve not needed the origin story, but that just means that the second will be even better since it’ll be all new.
…it’s the single-most accurate depiction of Spider-Man we’ve ever gotten. How exactly does the OP think it’s supposed to have sucked?
And I’d also say we did in fact need that story told again. The last time around it was told in such a way that you could literally slice it out of the rest of the film and it’d be a separate story. This actually made everything feel connected. Plus it establishes that this is a different world and setting than the last set. One of the mistakes The Incredible Hulk made was NOT making this distinction and starting well into Banner’s life as the Hulk. A lot of people assumed it was meant to be a sequel. Hell, a lot of people thought this WAS Spider-Man 4 until the origin scenes were shown again.^^ This.
Tobey Maguire was the best Spider-Man. Fuck what you heard. Shitty ass Twilight-esque Spidey reboot with its lame ass antagonist with his retarded plan to make everyone into fucking lizards, Like wtf. The final fight scene in the first Spider-Man was a helluva lot more memorable and badass than Spidey’s pussy-ass fight against Dr. Connors. Such a disappointment. “Durr at least da romance was legit.” Sure. I read Spider-Man comics for the romance. The whole awkward first love bullshit makes me wanna vomit. Tobey clearly has the bigger meat in this situation.
I mean…just look at him.
Look into his eyes.
-Dogpool
(Source: super-hero-confessions, via dvrknight)
-Dogpool
Wolverine and his adamantium kick to the balls.
-Dogpool
“Forget me. Ice those crazy fucks.”
-DP
-DP
-DP
Emma Frost.
Frost.
Ice.
Cold.
Chilly.
“Chilly, isn’t it?”
-Dogpool
